I’m in love.
This week we’ve been in Japan, leading our Art of Feminine Presence Level 2 Teacher Training.
I’m totally in love with the Japanese. They are so lovely, so service-oriented, and so full of gratitude. I would go so far as to say that in general they do not take things as much for granted as westerners do.
Plus, Datta and I got to spend our 8th wedding anniversary there, and I’m definitely more in love with my protector and handsome hubby every year. It was one of my most enjoyable weeks of my year so far.
But what happens when you have a week where someone really pisses you off and you can’t shake it for days, if not weeks?
You and I know may how to forgive and let go of irritation fairly quickly, but when it’s a really hurtful thing, it can be hard. It can take a lot of our energy and time thinking about that person.
Watch this short video on how to move on and stay true to yourself.
RESOURCE OF THE WEEK:
The final two Art of Feminine Presence® Intensives of 2016 are in Calgary, Canada and Nagano, Japan in October.
To experience one of the most profound personal development programs for women, join us in person for this 3-day experience. It is an unconventional approach to developing yourself as a feminine leader who inspires change. For more information on this or our teacher training visit: http://ArtofFemininePresence.com
Much love,
Prayer and blessing is KEY, thank you! I find when I over-ride all the negative I’m thinking of that person and speak what God thinks about them and all the things I love about them, my heart changes first and then my mind changes. For a simple example: If I’m upset about something negative my husband has done, and all his other negative qualities start to rise up, I immediately start thanking God for every awesome quality I can think of – Thank You God that my husband is such a godly man, a man of integrity, a generous soul, a hard worker, servant hearted, etc. I bless him with peace, joy, love and all the fruit of the Spirit. Wow, what a great man You have blessed me with! I bind up any strife or division and loose unity, acceptance and understanding.
The whole atmosphere changes, fiery darts are deflected and love wins! 🙂
I appreciate your message, especially the part about prayer Rachel Jayne.
I have learned that it really isn’t about them at all. It’s really about you. You’re the one that got pissed off. Pissed off = being triggered. You got triggered so you need to do what “we” call “tracking”. It’s important that you emotionally and spiritually “track” or look into your past to see what it is that got touched or triggered by that other person. More than not, that other person may not even know or may not have even meant to “piss you off”. Once you “track” what, in your history, has made you vulnerable, it will most likely be very eye opening. That is just one part of the process.
Part 1 Recognize the challenge. Track your history to discover when you last felt this way?
Part 2 Accept. What are the negative emotions that come up? Accept them and why they have happened.
Part 3 Surrender. Surrender to “God” (or the higher power of your choice).
Part 4 Refilling. What would you like to feel instead? Love, safety, peace….
Part 5 Give thanks. To Mother/Father God (or) for bringing this event into your life to learn from.
You might also want to research ho’oponopono.
Thank you for this topic Rachel Jayne.
Blessings,
Julia
Rachel Jayne, Congratulations on your 8th anniversary! Japan is certainly a special place to celebrate!
This video arrived at the perfect moment–I have been unable to shake my anger about being charged more ( $2,000) for a service for which I was given a much lower estimate. This event happened almost a year ago and I worked on the head bubble forgiveness approach immediately afterwards. Clearly I was unsuccessful because I got triggered about it a week ago and I haven’t been able to shake it since then. In the middle of this video I realized that I was angry at the provider but even more angry at myself! I did not assert myself at the time of the service and insist that the service I was buying be expediently delivered. Inefficient delivery resulted in the overcharge. The reason why I did not assert myself was because the people involved were very pleasant and I felt that asserting myself would be negative and unpleasant. Part of my shadow that I recently discovered, thanks to the shadow work in our class, is that I have trouble maintaining my boundaries with people I like. (Need for approval!) The shadow work got me noticing that often, if I feel my boundaries are being trespassed upon, I will make up a story to vilify the person. If I turn them into a bad/mean/dishonest/disrespectful person then I don’t have to feel guilty about being angry or asserting myself. This binary thinking (I call it Child Mind!) keeps the world looking black and white with no nuance. Uggh! Your video today, and the shadow work I did last week for class, allowed me to rapidly reframe my experience: The overcharge a year ago taught me an incredibly valuable lesson about asserting myself, including, especially with people I like so that I don’t have to turn them into creeps, crooks and enemies in my mind:) This new interpretation feels authentic. “I’m giving myself permission, because I value positive relations, to stand up for myself as needed.” From that place I like myself and now I feel the love flowing. I had to write because my stomach knot is gone! Thank you, Rachel Jayne!!!
Did you post this video just for me, Rachael Jayne? 😉
As you know I’m dealing with hurt and resentment and I’ve been at stage 2 for quite some time. It’s rare for a relationship to trigger me like this and I’m sure this trigger is related to authority figures.
In most situations I find peace through trying to understand the other person. I truly believe we all do the best we can with the skills, tools, and resources we have. If someone isn’t spiritually aware or has just experienced a loss, for example, they may not be able to do better than they are doing. Knowing this makes it easier for me to see that they are doing their best and despite their actions they have good intentions. I can love the person without loving their actions.
Other times I find it helpful to imagine myself and the other person as children. It is much easier to have compassion and understanding for and as a child.
One other thing I do is to keep the focus on myself and MY behavior. When I’m focused on what someone else did or said, I’m not usually being my best self and I can lose myself in the conflict. I continue to redirect my attention back to me and ask myself, “how can I do my best today?” When I focus on myself conflicts with other people become less important and less hurtful. Other people’s actions are rarely about me, anyway.
Chrysta
I have a great cure for feeling stuck in feelings of being pissed off. Go and visit google images and type in ‘genocide Burma’ or ‘Central African republic’- within seconds you will see such suffering you have never experienced. This really does do the trick for most Westerners.
I also pray for them and it helps alot.,I have
Also recently started tapping- Nick and Jessica Ortner’s.
Taught me using the chakra points. It relaxes
Me and releases the anger that a certain person
May trigger me to feel.
I was definitely feeling this when I watched the video and it is something that I am learning how to do instead of letting stuff eat me up all of the time. Thank you for such a timely video!
I’m so inspired by your message Rachel Jayne and the comments left. Really appreciate the way people are being vulnerable and sharing their experiences and stories! Very helpful!
Thank you!
Julia
I try to see what in the situation I myself am creating. Conflict takes two people, and I feel more productive examining my own behavior and actions and attitudes than dissecting someone else’s. My response is my responsibility, but even getting to the point of conflict is also part of my responsibility. I look at the other person and see what is pissing me off the most. Let’s say it’s deflecting responsibility, for example. I then look to myself and ask, where am I deflecting responsibility in my life right now? How am I putting blame on someone else, and then I also try to remember that the conflict is a lesson for me to examine my own motivation and behavior. Then I try to think about what the other person needs from me that is loving and kind. Sometimes saying goodbye is the loving choice.
Thanks Rachael Jayne— when I was listening to your message, my mind jumped over to the place where people have let me down (not so much pissed me off). And I think to employ the techniques you suggest would be just as effective. I do allow myself to sit with the hurt feelings for just a bit (not a pity party but just to feel the hurt )- and then I really make myself think about letting go of the hurt feelings, wanting good things for them, and wishing for warm love to surround them.
The next challenge that confronts me around being disappointed in people – is to be careful to not pull away TOO much from them. And so I go back to that place of thinking of where they are in their lives…not just where I am in MY life.
The closer I am to the person who let me down– the more effort it takes to authentically go through these steps.
Thanks for the reminder.
I get that feeling of been pissed off a lot when certain people put you down and you just cant shake it off also i do find it hard to forgive which i do in time but i dont forget very easily