Get clear on what you want. Manifest what you desire. “Easier said than done,” you might say.
If you have ever said, “I want to get clear on what I want” you must feel the deeper feelings that you have resisted feeling.
If you want to bring into reality that thing you say you want, you must allow your deeper feelings to rise to the surface more often.
However, it is scary to feel our feelings because they might reveal something we don’t want to deal with.
Our defense mechanisms try to keep us safe by coming up with a series of ways to avoid feelings. As a result we find ourselves stuck – not moving forward and not extremely happy.
Our feelings can show us things about ourselves that we don’t like. They can show us that our relationship might not be stable, they can show us that we feel insecure about something at work, or that we are not okay with the extra pounds we are carrying.
So this week’s episode is an important one if you wish to make significant changes in any area of your life. We need to discover and name your primary avoidance behavior to feeling your feelings.
Let me explain in this video:
Jot down which is the avoidance behavior that you will commit to stopping just for this week. Promise yourself: I will be honest with myself and STOP _______ so that I can really hear my own heart and my own inner voice telling me what’s going on. Later, you may keep it stopped for as long as you wish, but start with a 1-week commitment.
If you want support and accountability, share below what you are willing to stop for a week.
The one thing I’ll be working on this week is stopping email after 9PM so I can experience more of what I am feeling and wanting.
Much love,
this was very interesting. Still I am bit confused . i an really not sure what my nr.1 avoidance bahavior is but i think it can be mail, facebook and things like that.
i just gaot to look at it. But how do I know what is my number 1?
thank you Rachel
Avoiding comes in many forms. Just get quiet with yourself for a moment. Close your eyes, and think about what you tend to do on a regular basis to avoid these quiet honest moments with yourself. You may be surprised how easily the answer comes. Let me know what you discover!
RJ
Facebook readings, looking for mails are really my avoidings… Thank you Rachael for rise my awereness…
You are welcome- we all do it- it’s wonderful when we can see it earlier rather than later.
Thank you for your comment. RJ
If I am with people, I start joking around.
If I am alone, I start cleaning.
Thanks all, for having the courage to share and commit to a week without this avoidance behavior.
I am going to STOP procrastinating and START a meditation practice. I know that I am avoiding something (not sure what!) by putting meditation last on my list of things to do everyday, so I almost always run out of time throughout the day for it (purposefully, I think). It’s starting this afternoon after I get back from some errands. Thank you, Rachael Jayne for getting me to put this in writing! Sue 🙂
Wonderful, Sue! Good to hear it.
RJ
Thank you for this video~ just what I had been needing to hear! My #1 avoidance behavior is mindless online solitaire games – and I can almost feel when I need to stop them and I don’t! So…this week I will be limiting them~
Thanks for being willing to share and for limiting it this week. Spend some time quiet with yourself instead.
Thanks Jane, this message is exactly what I needed to hear in this moment of my life: I’m avoiding a lot, I would say I’m frightened by the feelings which “could “come out if I let them.
This week I’m going to avoid my late night watching TV with wine glass, and get to bed and have a nice rest instead.
Would be reading another escape method in this case?
One of the primary things we teach our kids – that we were taught – was that ” you can’t have everything you want” and that it is bad for them to give them what they want. When they make some request that we can’t or won’t fulfil we use these same methods to avoid having to deal with their disappointment, sadness, anger, resentment etc….i.e we distract them or we give them something else to ‘shut them up’….often food, or sit them by the tv…… often it’s just our attention (presence) they want…but we are so used to avoiding our own simple presence that we just dole out substitutes/compensation for this lack – for what they really want.
And don’t get me started on schools, where it’s all about what the school wants….. so here is where we have to undo all the conditioning – in our own lives. Committing to our own presence! Many thanks for this video 😉
Thank you for your post, Emanuela- good luck with your changes in habits- and happy resting to you.
RJ
That was great insight, Marigold. Thank you for your post. Yes, we uncondition ourselves every day with work like this. It’s not easy but well worth the invested time! Have a wonderful day,
RJ