Anger is a primal energy, needed for survival and for fulfillment.
It activates our life force, it fights for what is good, and it helps us set important boundaries.
But there are 3 blind spots we all have that stops us from feeling the power in our anger.
This episode of Awaken TV is for you if you:
* Avoid conflict
* Think you don’t have anger issues
* Take your anger out on others more than you’d like
* Are scared of showing anger to others
If you don’t feel productive, efficient, and have lots of energy to move through life with, it could have to do with the primal energy of anger being stuck. If you are feeling resentful about something, it could have to do with anger being repressed. If you are always getting angry at others and you can’t control it, it’s time to feel more of your own anger without projecting it.
Which of these 3 categories I share in the video do you fall into? What has helped you to stay connected to the power of your anger?
I know it’s a pretty “exposing topic,” but I’d love to hear from you.
Much love,
I’ve done a lot of work with anger but I appreciate the distinction of knowing that when I’m feeling pure anger, the story disappears. Thanks, RJ. Keep up the good work. XO Laurel
Thanks Laurel! I appreciate it.
I most probably go to sleep
My husband of fourteen years has alot of unexpressed anger and hurt on a child level that he lives a life of unexpressed feelings… no emotion to anything…and i mean ANYTHING>/I on the other hand believe so very much in expressing everthing. This summer this suppressed anger that i had been repressing came out by telling him to “get out”….he did , he is so afraid he has been running for over eight months…afraid to reconnect….please help me help him understand this VERY important energy
Hi Carol, It’s almost impossible to help you over the blog, given it’s such a huge topic, and obviously your marriage is a complex thing. What I can say is that you probably have a lot more suppressed anger, and it’s important for you to find a healthy outlet for that. Working on yourself, more than working on him “getting it” is always the answer. So your question “Help me help him understand this Very important energy” is not a powerful question. I would be asking yourself. How can I be more compassionate towards his “repression” and accept him how he is? I know that’s probably not the answer you were looking for, but it’s important that you focus more on you now, and not on him.
I can recognize all of these in me expressed at different times. Thank you Rachael Jayne, for giving voice to this important topic, even if it is uncomfortable.
For me, I think I do more of the first one and a bit of the second. I generally don’t even feel angry! So the practice in the video was to be present to the angry, but how do I do that if I don’t even feel it?
Great question Hils, and given that I know you more personally than the others writing their posts, I would say any time you get impatient or in fear, drop into your body and ask am I feeling a little angry? Anger is a very body centered feeling, so the more you take time to do nothing and sitting in your body without planning or doing, it might surface.
Thank you Rachael Jayne!!! I definitely suffer from the lack of productivity you mention. You have such a beautiful way of illuminating ‘sensitive’ topics … ‘sensitive’ as, for me, it’s about safety. I don’t feel safe with anger … so I guess, without even being aware I’m doing it, I go to sadness or disappointment, etc .. So my work will be to start noticing the cues (tension, shallow breathing I’m thinking) … and stopping to explore. And hopefully by reconnecting with my anger, I’ll also reconnect with the energy of ‘doing’ (rather than just sweetly ‘being’ …)
Thanks for sharing Marilyn. Great awareness.
This is very good. I used to go to sleep, but I have learnt that movement is really helpful such as being angry and bouncing it out on the trampoline or smacking a tennis ball to and fro, beating the rugs. I will sit with it too, and I appreciate what you shared. Thanks, Victoria
Thanks for sharing Victoria. I like that suggestion of movement.
Hi Rachael Jayne, thank you for sharing your wisdom on anger. I tend to default to Nº3, and then feel awfully guilty about it. Especially when I overtly show anger to my daughter. Elsa x
Thanks for sharing Elsa. It’s a hard trap, as I am caught in that one a little too. Getting short and then feeling bad than I get short.
Once when I was angry, more like enraged, that my boyfriend (not together anymore) was emotionally connected to a past girlfriend of his and he was more concerned with her feelings than mine…. I layed in bed one night and felt the rage rushing thru my body and swirling around my body for hours. I saw little lights shooting around, it actually felt like the presence of angels inside of the deep rage. No story attached. As the dawn was breaking the fury released and I got a message from a very calm part of me saying, he isn’t worth suffering for. I can live without him. I saw him the next day and the most unexpected thing happened……. He told me that he wrote the ex girlfriend an email telling her that he was in relationship with me and he wouldn’t be contacting her anymore and he never mentioned her again.
I feel a lot of anger and irritation for the past 4 weeks . I really feel it in my solar plexus. Ive been meditating on it, doing all kinds of exercises about the suspected cause….. it just keeps on roaring like a mighty ocean. Tonite Im going to sit with it and stop trying to make it go away!
Thanks for sharing Threza. It sounds like a great practice.
I usually apologize for my anger to people, like its wrong.
Hi Rachael Jayne,
thanks for talking about anger. It seems to me that avoiding anger is a very common issue. I also feel that avoiding it feels like I’m avoiding a part of life. I have been using the first type a lot. I am learning how to welcome anger by noticing and admitting that I experience it.
I have used deep breathing (when I remember) and also saying out loud or in my thoughts (depending on the situation) that I am feeling anger in that moment. And then I pay attention to my body being carried by Earth and I thank the Earth for carrying my body. Basically I ground myself using gratitude. Whenever I remember I tell myself that I love myself as I am in that moment.
EFT tapping has also been one of the tools I use when I feel frustrated.
Thank you for doing the things you do! 🙂
Jaana
You are so welcome Janna. Thanks for your share and your kind words.
Hi Rachael Jayne,
Most of my shadow work has been about working with anger. When I owned it, observed it in my body (as you say, without the story) and stopped needing to be right or projecting it (especially onto my poor kids), it lifted, so that the same triggers no longer “make” me angry. Because of this work, I am hardly ever angry now but that doesn’t stop me from confronting people if I want to express my opinion. The difference is, now there is no emotional charge when I approach them, so they are less likely to become angry and defensive in response because I’m not operating from my ego. This changed my whole approach to parenting and transformed my relationship with my kids and is the reason why I am on a mission to share this practice with other mums!
Loving these episodes and love your work xx