This has been a recurring fear for me:
I don’t want anyone to think I am too pushy.
This was a tough concern for me as an entrepreneur, because I had to promote myself and my services and tell people clearly why they should work with me.
It’s a big concern if you work for someone else, because if you are to get the respect and the raise you desire, you need to step out and share clearly why you are valuable and why you should be taken seriously.
If you’ve let the fear of being seen as pushy stop you, this has probably lead to people missing your value and not giving you the respect you are worthy of. There is hope. I turned this around with a simple, but profound practice I share in this week’s episode of Awaken TV.
Now, I would love to hear your first thoughts on this:
What is the virtue of being pushy?
Post a comment below. I’d love to keep integrating this shadow for myself and my own success.
Much love,
I have been considered pushy all of my life. I have learned that when I am clear and I am going for it I do with kindness, especially kindness to myself. There is really nothing like that feeling of clarity and then manifesting exactly what you imagine. Truly the awesome part of being human. Thanks Rachael Jayne for being pushy.
The video did not work. Thank you
Hi Linda, sorry about that. Try refreshing your browser, and if that doesn’t work, try rebooting. It’s a YouTube.com based video, so it should work on everything.
Let me know if that works.
Best,
~Datta
I would consider myself too passive. I couldn’t be pushy or salesy if I tried. I just does not feel authentic.
Personally, I can’t stand pushy people. I get such an icky feeling and I run the other way. I avoid these people and tend to not engage or interact with them any longer. Like just leave me alone I am not interested in what you have….yuck ola!
So what does that say about me and my business? Probably why we are not thriving. I guess I need to embody pushy huh?
Hi Lisa,
It’s not that you need to be pushy all of the time, and it’s not even that you need to be pushy at any time. It’s about coming to a place where you don’t fear, or hold back your “pushy” nature. As you confess, you are not okay with “being pushy.” The more you feel that it’s okay to be pushy at times it will start integrating into your being. Keep asking, why is being pushy a good thing? What is the virtue of this quality?
Thanks for sharing Lisa.
Great one! I am re-exploring how to reintegrate the virtues of this myself (so great timing)! My “intense knowing and desire” was a great strength in my past, then I became self-conscious about it because I wanted to recognize the brilliance in others, practicing more listening and patience for co-creating. Now, I feel I can invite this quality back in to a higher state of consciousness: it doesn’t have to be an either/or. I feel the only way we will attract the co-creators (clients, friends, colleagues) that will enrich our life most effectively (and in turn you will enrich theirs), is when we are resonating strongly in our knowing.
Thanks for sharing Kriste! Beautifully said.
Dear Rachel,
I can hardly wait for the Sept seminar. I’m hoping this seminar will push me over the top!!
Being a Wholistic Chirporactor, I look at body alignment. I say EVERYTHING is ALIGNMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Especially for women, how you look is a big part of your power.
Perhaps re-alignment of your neck would give you more POWER without being pushy???
Enthusiastically,
Larry
What a great point Larry. Your physiology is everything when it comes to being in your power and presence. I truly believe the chiropractic work I have done in my life has affected me a lot in regards to my presence, speaking and business.
Looking forward to seeing you in September.
Love Rachael Jayne
I definitely have a need to re-examine and re-integrate my “pushiness.” Right now, I hate pushy people and run away from them! I hate pushy men and I especially hate pushy women. I do tend to be pushy in sharing spiritual information with friends and I have received a certain amount of anger from people who have assumed that I am telling them that they need it. I really don’t know how to be pushy in a positive way. Please help! THanks!
The powerful question is when is it the right time to be pushy. At the moment it sounds like you are not using the virtue of pushy at the right time. If you are in love with the quality of “pushy” as much as you are in love with the quality “patient” that means you will naturally express pushy in a clear and loving and integrated way. So focus on loving this quality inside of you and the rest of it will take care of itself. Easier said than done, but it’s worth staying with this quality of pushy for at least a month or two.
Pushy or Passive? Most I am on the passive side. Both aspects are presented for me by the bagger. Who wants to be seen or feel like a bagger dependent what other are willing to give, and being convinced that they are then creating my reality for ever, actually fear of been seen as, or feeling powerless. I caught myself bagging for love, attention, acknowledgement or even money.It never felt good to me to take or give out of lack. The value of Pushy or Passive for me is deep trust that I create what I am dependent on, being inspiring, giving direction and holding quality space.
Anyway I can´t say I have it all together all the time and shadow seems behind every corner. Thank you Rachael for pointing out this big one 🙂
Much Love Sabine
You are so welcome Sabine. Thanks for sharing. It’s been a big one for me too.
Being “pushy” could be a way of giving myself the courage to do and say those things that i need to do – for myself or in the service of others – that I find difficult to do, however using the energy of “pushiness” could give me the confidence to prevail …. BTW using this text box is almost impossible on my phone … can’t see what I’m typing !!!
Thanks for sharing Jane. This is a great virtue. Thanks for letting us know about the phone.
Dear Rachael Jayne,
We think there’s a time and place to be pushy and if it comes from a place of genuine and mindful passion then it will be more likely to be received well. The virtue of it is that it can be really influential when the time, place and people are right.
Virtues: influencing people, getting stuff done (sometimes), can wake people up/get them into action, empower others.
Love Adam and Jess.
Thanks Adam and Jess! Great ideas shared here. Love Rachael Jayne and Datta
What a GREAT Video and Shadow of the Month Rachael !!! I really need to expand my range and get to the side of being more PUSHY.. !!!! I have the right intention and purpose , but I need to work this shadow.
Love what Adam and Jess said about the Virtues… I am IN !!! Thank You !!! Can’t wait to Awaken your Impact Event !
Virtues: influencing people, getting stuff done (sometimes), can wake people up/get them into action, empower others.
Can’t wait to see you too Adriana!
I am hypersensitive in respect of pushy people while at the same time I would behave in a too pushy manner in respect of my husband or friends and too passive in some other situations. Which is probably to say that being too pushy or too passive are really features which remain not well-integrated and keep showing out in a quite unbalanced way. Thank you for the nice video and the homework.
I have never thought I was pushy , my hubby would probably differ. Folks in the world, pushy not so me. I like the idea of it being a good thing, that you can create a positive from. I am going to work with this and see what comes up. I may not do it perfectly, but I am trying it on.
Maybe I am pushy and don’t know it!
Hi There…I am really loving your quick spots! A little bit of RJ in the morning is a good thing. As for “pushy,” I believe the virtue of pushy is that it allows others to see, hear, and partake of your unique gifts. It allows us the chance to talk about what we do with conviction! And, our own forthright energy about what we do can inspire others to pursue their own passions with more energy and commitment. I will continue journaling about this and other shadows. Great exercise. Thank You!
Agreed! : )
Oh, that is so sweet. A little bit of Carrie is wonderful too. Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks at Awaken. Hope everything is going really well for you.
Thank you for the opportunity to flesh out my thoughts about “pushy.” The upside of a pushy identity is confidence, determination, staying-the-course, commitment, influence, and empowerment. It’s only pushy then, when it’s asserted instead of integrated. Asserting means trying to influence the universe from some place other than your source or core being. It’s pretending all of the above. Source does not need to be pushy in order to create or influence, but others may project their own resisted pushiness on you when you show up as powerful and influential.
I like this Beverly. : )
My coach just challenged my yesterday to be my authentic self. For me, being pushy is to hold no punches and speak clearly about women’s self defense instead of being concerned about hurting someone’s feelings. Being pushy is attracting my ideal client by letting them see me for who I am instead of trying to be the right fit for everyone. Being pushy is getting out of ‘the box’, being comfortable with who we are and with life, even if others aren’t comfortable with us. Thank you for challenging us to be ‘pushy’ and inspiring the change we are here to achieve. Live with purpose.
In Latin America, where we are still in “Macho Land” working as a Seismologist and a full time Professor at the University and having only Civil Engineers (Men) as co-workers, it is sooo difficult to be heard. They literally don’t listen to you… If I have an idea, they don’t say anything… and then after approximately 5 minutes, one of my coworkers states the same idea and everybody goes: “Oh what a great idea” and they give HIM the credits. So I find myself not only being pushy but my personality is becoming so sour that I don’t recognize myself 🙁
This is a very tough challenge Juracy. One of our teachers in Art of Feminine Presence shares similar things. You might want to reach out to her on Facebook. Her name is Adriana Rodriguez. I would highly recommend also reading Powerful and Feminine, which is a book I wrote a few years ago to solve exactly this challenge.