Marriage is a delicate dance between Datta and me.
It’s a dance of respect, busy schedules, deep friendship, intimacy, and yes – of disagreements.
No matter what type of relationship any of us are involved in: marriage, dating, co-workers, bosses or investors; arguments are going to be a natural part of it.
Tension can easily rise with discussions around money, sex, time or disappointments. As ego’s get triggered sometimes we can feel out of control and not present in the maturity of who we really are.
It’s been hard at times for me to know when to walk away and give myself a moment to breathe, and when to stay in my anger or frustration and express that fully. What I have experienced is that if I am not “centered” I am not able to communicate with compassion and honesty – for myself or the other person.
That’s why I want to share the 5 quick things I do when I am in an argument and want to stay honest but loving.
You can take these tips with you into all areas of your life: love, friendship and in the office environment.
Now, it’s your turn.
Which of these 5 things are you willing to put more attention on this week?
Feel free to share how you stay centered in an argument without reverting into a younger or crazier version of yourself.
Keep us posted on how these tips work for you this week and beyond.
Love this one, thank you for these tools!
So clear and practical, LOVE it! (and so important too as we all have our battles at times ;))
Thank you, Suus for your comment! RJ
Great tips, thanks! A suggestion to list the 5 points at the end of the presentation so we can write them down. 🙂
You’re welcome, Kathleen- and thanks for your idea!
RJ
I ask my partner for a few minutes to really VENT and often times the other person is totally willing to just listen. This is especially great if we’re going out on a sunrise hike and I vent while climbing the mountain. When we arrive at the top it’s so much easier to take some quiet time, and I feel much more able to give the other person listening space as well. By the time we’re hiking downhill, I have so much more appreciation for my point of view, the other person’s point of view, as well as the new options neither of us saw prior to the trigger, that we both have access to afterwards. When a trigger cannot wait for such a lovely activity as early morning hiking, then I find a quiet time of day to tap (EFT) and complain. I call it, “Poor Me, tapping!.” 🙂 Feels sooooo good! Thanks Rachael-Jayne. xoxo
Thanks for this post- great ideas here and we all appreciate your sharing them!
RJ
Thank You, Rachael Jayne! This is great, simple, digestible. I’m happy to report that as I bring my presence practice from my career arena into my personal world (marriage and motherhood) … things are looking up 🙂 I’ve had this loose intention for a long while and have only recently made a commitment to it. My husband and I are in a real growth period and that comes with some real discomfort. Being anchored in my center and whole in my space (light globe) allows for me to speak my truth with such calm clarity! (this was not the norm for years of our marriage). Your work has been a beautiful enhancement/affirmation of my presence practice to date. It was such timely reinforcement and has resulted in me bringing it home to my personal life. Ah, bringing it home … there is so much in that! Thank you!
Thank you for this post!
RJ
Great stuff as ALWAYS!! Not easy to stay centered when you feel angry but absolutely empowering when you learn how. THANKS!!!
yes! yes!
Brilliant video, Rachael Jayne, I love all your tips.
It’s a real challenge to stay centred in an argument but recognising that it’s some younger (generally unresourced) part of ourself that’s being triggered – and coming forward for healing – can help to give us a chink of space from the situation.
I also find EFT/Tapping useful – either stealth tapping (covertly on my fingers) or in full view if I’m with my family. They’ll usually join in too, which really helps to cool things down so we can have an honest and open conversation from our adult selves.
Thank you, Linda for the post!
RJ
If a notice, that I am “hooked” with somebody, I check
if I am trapped in the 3D-mind-energylevel. If so –
I visualize and feel my lightchannel to the higher level,
Higher Self or if possible the I AM, breathe into may heart
and feel my pure energy……………….
Whatever time or awareness it needs to arrive there,
then I listen from my heart again,
accept that the other has another point of view as valuable
as mine …………….
love, Anjana
This is a wonderful post, Renate- thank you!
RJ
Thanks Rachael, I loved it.
This week, I will work with the observer, since I try to be centered and lightglobe but something really easy can trigger me out of that. Like you said, it is hard to stay centered.
Especially around the kids, there can be some moments that I really need it.