How are you at setting boundaries?
Do you suck at it? Are you heavy-handed with people? Do you wait too long to set boundaries and then get ‘push-back?’
It can be a delicate balance to not let people walk all over you, and at the same time not piss people off.
Remember, you teach people how to treat you.
If you would like to become awesome at setting boundaries, you should watch this week’s Awaken TV episode on how to gracefully set boundaries, in a way that everyone involved wins. Here are some great practical steps to take in setting up a boundary conversation and what to say during the conversation.
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This year we are in the USA, Canada, Japan, and Australia. I know it may mean getting on a plane, but I promise you it will be well worth it. One of the things that happens as a result of women learning the practices I teach is the art of setting very strong boundaries in a ‘feminine’ way. Check out the dates for the 3-day intensive and Teacher Training here.
How do you get your teenagers or specific co-workers to “feel” what you want and freely compromise when they have a “it’s all about me” attitude?
I have found affirmations and declarations helpful. Coupled with a simple question:
“You are important to me and I want you to have what you need to feel good around here (home, classroom, work setting …) Do you care about me being happy as well?”
Dee,
For me, it is about listening to their reasoning behind what they really want. Ask curious questions like, what is it that makes you so passionate about this thing? What will you do with this thing, once you get it?
I think that gaining an understanding first, before getting out the daggers, is the first place to start with a compromise.
I was not always this way, and it certainly takes practice. Especially when teenagers know what buttons to push. I know have teenage grandchildren and see from an outside perspective of how my children parent.
I am sure Rachael Jayne has a great perspective, as well.
Good luck.
Kat
My question is: What about HIM wanting to go to the movie? Might not the feeling of what he wants cause you to say, “Wow, I really do love our dates, how about we stay home tonight and go to the movie tomorrow?” (Or vice/versa.)
My husband and I try to “hear God’s voice through agreement” and it has brought such PEACE to our 38 year marriage. We come to agreement on everything from paint colors to car purchases. My boundary problems seem to be with others but I’m learning. Thanks for sharing!
This is great advice! Thank you for sharing Kim!
Where are the dates and locations of live programs that you mentioned on the Boundaries Video?
Thank you
You can find more information on these events at artoffemininepresence.com/intro 🙂 We have them all across the world!
I am building and living with my 85yr old father and 13 yr old son. My father has flipped from being independent to co-dependent, since moving in with me. He has decided it is my duty to take care of his happiness and needs round the clock leaving me no time to study or set up business or even give my child what he needs. I made this clear prior to him moving however in his mind I have agreed to do this. It has blown up bad now and I dont know how to handle it or him